We are all very savvy, grownup people who have embraced the online world as the best place to meet someone. But underneath our savvy exteriors, we’re all little babies when we gethurt.

When it comes to love and relationships, we’ve learned the lesson of touching the hot stove. Burned once, or lots more than once, we are all understandably cautious. Nothing feels quite as bad as being dumped, falling for the wrong person, or making a fool of yourself over someone who doesn’t care about you. It’s human nature to be cautious with your heart and your emotions. At the same time, nothing is quite as exciting as the thought of meeting someone new. Finding the one you’ve always dreamed of. The first calls. The first dates. The realization that you really like each other. The first time. Yep, it’s hard not to get all misty just thinking of it.

Unfortunately, the yin/yang of wanting to fall in love but not wanting to fall in love with the wrong person can really screw things up. The cautiousness of not wanting to be hurt—the not exposing yourself too quickly, can also make it hard to get to know each other. What can a poor online dater do?

In the world of online dating, quite a lot! One of the benefits of technology is that you can gain access to lots of potential dates—and learn all about them before you ever meet. The safety net of e-mails and IMs, and the ability to learn lots of little details first, can really help overcome the fears that plague most daters. Online dating can help you learn a lot about each other, but that’s assuming that everything you say about yourself, or what your potential date says about him or herself, is true.